Remembering Mrs. Selvester

Sunday evening (a week ago)  I received a phone call telling me one of my {favorite} clinical instructors passed away very unexpectedly shortly after delivering her baby girl.  I was in complete. total. shock.  Even now, a little over a week later, I have a hard time wrapping my mind around the situation.  I still feel as though I could go knock on her office door, and she will be there.  Mrs. Selvester was my OB clinical instructor during the fall semester.  She is to be credited for the beginning of me enjoying the nursing school clinical experience, getting me through other {not-so-fun} clinicals with our frequent venting sessions in her office, and most importantly, wanting to be a clinical instructor/nurse educator in the future.

I remember….meeting Mrs. Selvester for the first time.  She was beaming as she told our clinical group of her new husband, new little boys, and the new addition on the way.  I think it’s safe to say that all of us who had her as an instructor during her pregnancy were blessed by her and got to experience OB in a WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY!   

I remember…Mrs. Selvester pushing me on a daily basis beyond what I thought I was able to do, but being with me step-by-step and encouraging me as I faced those things.  She quickly caught on to my stalling tactics I used when I wasn’t comfortable doing something and didn’t let me use them. 

I remember…Mrs. Selvester’s contagious laugh and how she would say, “That baby…that baby is perfect…just perfect!” each time we would hold a new little one.  It was never routine and never “just a job” to her.   

I remember…anytime Mrs. Selvester would find one of my strengths during clinicals, she made every effort to allow me an opportunity to “teach”…anything from patient teaching to teaching a fellow classmate how to give a newborn bath and MANY things in between.  It was in those moments she gave me little nuggets of wisdom on teaching. {which I find funny because most of the time I had her in clinicals I was adamant about NOT EVER wanting to be in education} 

I remember….how she invested into my life consistently even after I no longer had her as an instructor.  If I had a question in another class, she was the first person I would call.  Not only in academics, but Mrs. Selvester always had little words of wisdom to speak into my life.  I’ll treasure those forever. 

I remember….how one day with Mrs. Selvester in clinicals changed my future nursing career…changed me.  Here’s the story…

{Let me preface this story by saying as much as I was excited about OB, I was terrified of clinicals in the beginning because everything was so new to me…}

My first day in Labor & Delivery was busy.  Mrs. Selvester spent most of the morning with me and the other student in L&D that day because there were going to be three deliveries in a short span of time.  We all went in for the first delivery, and I fully expected to observe as the other student administered the erythromycin (eye ointment) and Vitamin K injection since it was my first delivery as a student nurse---Mrs. Selvester had other plans. 

She looked at me and said, “Here ya go!  Now tell me what you are going to do with the Vitamin K.”  I was TOTALLY caught off-guard (because remember…I thought I was OBSERVING) and froze.  When I say “froze”, I mean, I completely went blank and no intelligent thoughts came to mind.   At that point, the tears started flowing and wouldn’t stop because I was so nervous/embarrassed at this point.  I held the Vitamin K injection out to Mrs. Selvester and said, “No!  You do it.  I can’t right now!” {probably not one of my finer moments}.  She took it from me, and I stepped away to compose myself. 

After regaining composure, I walked back over to the baby.  She handed the Vitamin K back to me and said, “You okay now?  Good!  Let’s do this together.  I’ll walk you through it.”  She walked me through the steps, and I did what I needed to do. 

Later in the clinical day, she pulled me aside to check on me and to talk about what happened earlier.  She said something in those moments that I will ALWAYS remember.  After asking me if/what I learned from the situation, Mrs. Selvester said, “Had I given the Vitamin K injection for you, you would have missed the opportunity to learn those things.  Aren’t you glad you did it?” 

Of course my answer was YES!  I’m so glad she made me confront my fear because in those moments, I learned so much more than giving an injection to a screaming newborn---I learned more about confidence in myself and that I had an instructor who truly cared about my learning experience…my nursing career…ME!  After that day in clinicals, I called my parents and told them I wanted to be a clinical instructor because of the way Mrs. Selvester handled the situation with me that day.  

Mrs. Selvester knew my potential; she knew my strengths/weaknesses, and she consistently pushed me beyond what I “thought” I could do because she wanted to see me succeed.  Because of her investing so much into my life, it always made me want to work a little bit harder…

After my time in clinicals with Mrs. Selvester, I had much more confidence in my abilities and that carried over throughout the rest of my clinical experiences in nursing school, and I am confident it will carry over into my career. 

I wish everyone could have known Mrs. Selvester.  She would have touched your life and made you smile.  It doesn’t make sense to me why a sweet baby girl was brought into the world shortly before her mom went to be with Jesus, but I am confident that even in the times where we ask “Why?”, the Lord has a plan and a purpose.  HIS story is bigger than anything I can imagine and comprehend, and I am trying to trust Him. 

Isaiah 55:8-11
8"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
       neither are your ways my ways,"
       declares the LORD.

⁹ "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
       so are my ways higher than your ways
       and my thoughts than your thoughts.

¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
       come down from heaven,
       and do not return to it
       without watering the earth
       and making it bud and flourish,
       so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
       It will not return to me empty,
       but will accomplish what I desire
       and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”

God has a plan and purpose in the life and death of Mrs. Selvester, and my prayer is that HIS glory is shown mightly through it all.