Beautiful Scars

***I started this post back in January of this year, but I never finished it.  God, once again, brought this topic to mind recently; so here I am finishing this post and ACTUALLY posting it!***

For those of you who know me well, you know I LOVE scars. Every scar is unique.  Every scar has a story. Every scar is part of the person who wears it.  More often than not, if I see someone with a scar, the first question out of my mouth is, “How’d you get that?  I wanna hear the story!”  Some of the stories are funny---  some of the stories are heartbreaking.  I love them all. 

Recently in the PICU, I had the privilege of taking care of a 7 year old boy who taught me a valuable lesson that he will never be aware of.  For this post, we’ll call him “Caleb”.  Caleb was in our unit for a couple of months before he died from his chronic disease.  Caleb had a scar about 3 inches long on the side of his neck from a previous surgery.  It was a big scar!  I spent a lot of time with Caleb’s mom who was frequently at his bedside, and so I asked her about his scar.  She told me as a result of his disease, Caleb had to have frequent surgeries and that was a scar from the most recent surgery.  This scar on Caleb’s neck was one of many scars, but I was completely captivated by it!   

Day in and day out, I would look at the scar and my heart would just break for all he was having to endure.  In those moments/days/weeks I took care of Caleb, the phrase “beautiful scars” continually came to my mind, but I had no idea why.  Although I think scars are AWESOME, I’d never thought to use the word “beautiful” to describe a scar. 

God used the scar on this precious 7 year old boy to show me something about Him.  He showed me that all of our “scars” can be used to bring glory to HIM.  Each of us has a story written by the most brilliant author of all times, and each story is marked by varying degrees of hurt, disappointment, pain…and that comes in all kinds of ways.   Often times those areas of hurt (wounds) leave us with scars…little marks that seem like “imperfections”.   Many times it’s easy to complain about the way it may look to other people or even try to conceal it so other people can’t see our imperfections. 

Think about it…. each scar is a beautiful example of healing from pain!  Each scar is a picture of God’s creativity and handiwork.  Each scar is outward evidence of the unique story God is writing.  God could have chosen to heal our wounds without any outward evidence, but then other people wouldn’t know to ask about the STORY!  Isn’t the STORY the best part of scars?!?!

Maybe it’s time that we look at our scars in a different light…

What if we look at them as what they truly are?
What if we look at them as part of God’s brilliant plan of healing?
What if we look at them as an evidence of what makes me “me”…and what makes you “you”? 

But most of all…

What if we looked at our scars (the evidence of God’s healing in our lives) as a way to brag on our Healer?  In that, we bring Him glory with the little imperfections that make us who we are! 

God’s shown me not to hide my scars out of shame or embarrassment of not being “perfect”, but to willingly share of the story of His love and healing in my heart and life. 

Perhaps the most beautiful scars are the one’s in Jesus’ hands and feet….they tell the beautiful story of how much He loves us!  The story behind those scars definitely bring His Father glory!  It’s only by the wounds which created those scars that we can have a relationship with our Creator and Healer!  When Jesus reappeared to His disciples after the resurrection, He showed them the scars in His hands, feet, and side to say, “Hey!  It’s really me….God is who He says He is!  I AM who I say I AM!” 

Let God turn the wounded places in your heart and the pain you experience into BEAUTIFUL scars that will point other people to Him!  Share your story! 

A Place to Call “Home”

The blog posts are few and far between these days, but I’m not going to spend time listing all of the excuses reasons for my absence.  Let’s just leave it as…life gets crazy, and I’m sure EVERYONE else can relate.  Today seemed like a perfect day for a quick post. 

My little world has been full of changes lately….but one is on my heart to write about today. 

The best change that’s happened recently is finding a church.  I’ve been actively searching for a church to be plugged into for close to a year and a half….a VERY LONG, DIFFICULT year and a half.  I never imagined how difficult the search would be. I must say that the long road of searching for a church has made the destination so incredibly sweet!! 

God knew exactly what I needed…exactly when I needed it!  For that I’m so thankful. 

In May I was having a conversation with a co-worker (who has become a dear friend) about missions…China…Haiti…etc.  She LOVES Jesus and it’s obvious if you spend more than…oh, 2 seconds talking with her!  She mentioned to me that her church was taking a trip to Haiti.  (the post below has that story)  God said, “Go!”, and so I went.  Never did I imagine that I would find MY church through that trip!  But God….but God….but God!  I love how He works in ways that we can’t imagine. 

While in Haiti, I fell in love with the people on my team from Grace Bible.   In fact, there was another team with us, and many of them couldn’t believe that I just met most of the people on our team only two days before coming to Haiti.  They said it seemed like I’d known them forever…and that is EXACTLY the way I felt.  Not once did I feel like a “visitor”….not once did I feel like an outsider.  

I went to Haiti thinking that I was going to GIVE, but God GAVE me one of the biggest blessings and answered a long time prayer of mine.  He gave me a church family…a place to call home! 

I LOVE being surrounded by people who love the Lord.
I LOVE Sunday being a day I look forward to once again. 
I LOVE the relationships that are being created.
I LOVE that I’m challenged in my walk with the Lord.
I LOVE that I have the chance to serve.
I LOVE the hugs.
I LOVE being known.
I LOVE having a “place”. 
I LOVE hearing the Word being preached without excuse…even on hard topics!

I LOVE that God heard my prayer and has placed me in this church I can call “home”.

So any times I forget that God created my heart and He knows EXACTLY what I need and precisely the right time I need it.  Was it in “my plan” to search for a year and a half to find a church?  Absolutely not!   Was it in HIS plan?  Yes, it was!  How sweet it is to be in this place now!!  I think God knew I needed this time of wilderness/searching to fully appreciate the role and necessity of the body of Christ.  I’ve often thought I do a decent job of living life on my own…and He used this past year and a half to show me the vital role of the body of Christ. 

I do have to say that in the midst of all of the changes, there is an overwhelming contentment with where I am right now.  Of course, there are moments of insanity/chaos/questioning what God is up to….but then the dust settles and I realize just how blessed I am to be RIGHT WHERE I AM! 

It’s a WILD ride following Jesus!

Katie’s Going BACK to HAITI!!!

I’m beyond excited that in about 48 hours, I will be back in Haiti!  Bags are packed and all items on my to-do list are completed…only one more day of work and then I’m outta here! 

Even now as I sit here typing this post, I can’t believe I’m going back to the place where I left part of my heart over a year ago.  The people in Haiti are amazing…they are strong and resilient…they are so full of joy.  Even more than excitement about going back, I’m humbled that God chooses to let me be part of what He is already doing in the lives of these beautiful people.  Seeing God work in people’s lives, whether in San Antonio or China or Haiti, is what makes me “tick”.  It is the thing that brings me the biggest smiles and the fullest heart. 

So here is a little bit about how this trip came about…

Sometime in early May, I was having a little convo with a sweet friend at work.  *just as a side note…I can’t tell you how much of a blessing to me it is to work with someone who loves the Lord with everything and radiates Him ALL THE TIME.  Talk about an encouragement and answered prayer! Love her!!*  Through this conversation I told her about going to Haiti after the earthquake and how much I wanted to go back.  She mentioned that her church would be going in June if I was interested.  Of course I was interested, but the problem was that my June was already SO FULL…two weddings, VBS, GA Camp, and work.  But just as it always happens when the Lord is calling me to do something, He provides a way where there seems to be no way.  That is exactly what happened over the next few days…GOD MADE A WAY!!  He opened door after door beginning with no scheduling conflicts with things I had previously committed to.  He moved mountains and allowed me to have those days off of work on short notice, and all of this happened on the day of the deadline to buy tickets. 

There are 14ish people on my team (I can’t remember the exact number), and we are meeting up with some others once we are there!  We will be in Haiti for 8 days, and I’ll have to fill you in on the details of what we will be doing once I get back…because  I’m really not sure at this point.       

Before I leave, I wanted to write out some specific prayer requests that I have as I am in Haiti.  I would appreciate your prayers more than you ever know.

1.  My heart is to be the hands and feet of Christ as I serve.  Would you pray that I would step out of the way and hide behind the cross?  I don’t want people to see ME; I want them to see JESUS.  I don’t want people to tell me how great I am for going to Haiti; I want them to know how great GOD is and how He loves them beyond anything they could fathom. It’s not about me…it never has been…and it never will be.  It’s about the people of Haiti seeing Jesus in everything I do. 

2.  Pray for perseverance and strength as our days will be long and tiring!

3.  Pray that I would exchange the expectations of what I want to see happen in Haiti for an attitude and heart of expectancy to see what the Lord will do.

4.  Many of you know how clumsy I am…so would you pray for safety and protection.  Not just for me, but for my entire team.

Thank you in advance for your prayers!  They are what gets us through each long, HOT day!  I’ll be back in a couple of weeks with stories and pictures of what the Lord is doing; so stay tuned!

This trip is completely different, but here is a recap of my last trip:
My Heart is in Haiti- Part 1
My Heart is in Hait- Part 2
My Heart is in Haiti- Part 3
My Heart is in Haiti- Part 4
My Heart is in Haiti- Part 5
My Heart is in Haiti- Part 6

*parts 3, 5, and 6 are my favorites!  :)

It’s a wild ride following Jesus…but I wouldn’t have it any other way!

The 26 Years of ME!

Tomorrow I turn 26 years old.  I know some of you may laugh, but for some reason 26 sounds REALLY old to me.  Last year before my birthday, I took a trip down memory lane and recorded on my blog some of my biggest memories of my life to this point.  I figured I would continue to add to it each year as a way to remember the big things…the small things…the things the Lord is doing in my life…etc. 

YEAR 1: It all began on February 16, 1985 when all 10 lbs. 11 oz. of me made an entrance into the world. Of course I don’t remember anything from this year, but pictures and stories tell me that my fat rolls had fat rolls. I was extremely chubby! This was also the year when I began all of my broken bones…a skull fracture at 9 months old!

YEAR 2, 3, 4: I’m lumping all of these years together….In these years I spent a lot of time with my Mama Sue. Mama Sue kept me while my parents worked, and I loved going to her house. We spent lots of time in the garden…chasing cows that got out of the pen…shucking corn…and snapping green beans. I gave my “passy” away to her baby calf because it didn’t have one. One of the biggest memories I have of spending time with Mama Sue is when we got into a wreck on the way to pick her kids up from school….even at that age, I still REMEMBER it (not just hearing stories about it!).

YEAR 5: During this year, I started taking dance. I’m pretty sure it only lasted one year…I definitely turned out to be a tomboy instead of a girlie girl. So sorry, Mom! At the end of my fifth year, I got a little sister. Hard to say if I was excited or not….I’m pretty sure I wanted to send her back. (No worries…I love her now!)

YEAR 6: I started Kindergarten this year, and I absolutely loved my teacher. My favorite part of Kindergarten was the memory verse cards we had. Each week was a new verse starting with a new letter of the alphabet. We learned scripture while learning our alphabet…I thought it was amazingly cool back then. I also began playing t-ball this year!

YEAR 7: This was the year when SOFTBALL actually started, and I was hooked from the beginning. I got to “play” on an all-star team which I was almost too young for, but I made the cut because I was “coachable”…what really ended up happening was I sat the bench and occasionally got to play right field [read…picking flowers!].

YEAR 8: I started piano lessons this year from the organist at our church. I enjoyed learning to play, but I hated practicing and hated recitals even more. At my Christmas recital, I walked in, saw everyone looking at me, started crying, and walked out. I can’t remember if I actually played my pieces. My FAVORITE softball memory from this year is warming up with my brother before a game and the ball hit me in the face. I had a bruise in the pattern of the “stitches” from the softball. I was SO proud! I’ve always loved my battle wounds!

YEAR 9: I got my first kitten this year, Oreo! I also had my first teacher in school that I didn’t like. Other than that, softball continues!

YEAR 10: I had my favorite birthday party in this year. My mom planned a Mexican Fiesta at our house and we all played Bunko!

YEAR 11: I broke my leg on Christmas day of this year, and ended up being in a long cast for several weeks. I vividly remember getting my cast off and a couple of days later having the first softball practice of the season. The last thing my mom told me before she left was DON’T run the bases. As she came to pick me up, sure enough, I was running the bases! OOPS! You couldn’t keep me away from softball.

YEAR 12: This was the year of my favorite vacation of all times. We spent two weeks going to New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado. We had two weeks worth of pimento cheese and chicken salad sandwiches (which we STILL talk about to this day!)…and stayed at the “Best Inn”. Oh the memories from that vacation…

YEAR 13: This begins the awkward years…and I had it bad. I started 7th grade during this year, and it was a big deal because it was the first year for all of the kids in my grade to be at the same school (we came from several elementary schools). My best friend at the time, Amanda, moved to town, and we were instant friends. Without a doubt we were inseparable until she moved in 9th grade. I got sent to the office this year for accidently touching my teacher’s paper cutter, and I thought my world had ended! We added on to our house and I FINALLY had my own room. I started taking dance again because I thought I might want to be in drill team in high school.

Most significantly in this year is that the Lord began showing me through someone I looked up to greatly that I needed to make my faith in Him my own….

YEAR 14: March 4th of this year Andrey (from Ukraine) came to live with us while he had surgery on his eye. It was an interesting experience, but one I wouldn’t trade for anything. On June 24, 1998, I accepted Christ as my Savior and began following Him. My faith went from going to church on Sundays to having a relationship with the one true God! My life has never been the same since that day!

YEAR 15: I started high school during this year. I was on the JV Drill team and I made Varsity softball as a freshman. During my freshman year, I had two of my best friends, Amanda and Mallory, move away. I had to find a new group of friends which isn't always the easiest thing to do in high school.

YEAR 16: During July of this year, my parents bought me a red Volkswagon Beetle! It was what I always wanted…I couldn’t believe I was actually getting one!! I remember being so happy that I couldn’t quit crying as my mom and dad signed all the papers. Sad thing was that I was TERRIFIED to drive it because it was a stick shift. I finally learned, and at the end of my 16th year (on my 16th birthday!), the K8TBUG was mine!

YEAR 17: During this summer, I went to Super Summer and the Lord put China on my heart. I knew from that moment on that I would serve there someday…I wasn’t sure when…I wasn’t sure how…but I knew I was going!

YEAR 18: The thing that sticks out to me most during this year is junior prom. I didn’t like it one bit. It was my first (and only) dance I ever went to. That summer I went to several camps (like every summer) including softball camp at Texas A&M!!

YEAR 19: This was a huge year for me! I graduated from high school #6 in my class, and then packed my bags to move off to Texas A&M which was a dream come true. I left home being one extremely shy little girl afraid to order my own meal at restaurants. I was scared to death to be on my own, but I wanted to be an Aggie so badly!

YEAR 20: At the beginning of my 20th year, the Lord blessed me with an incredible friendship that proved to be one of my best friends of all time, Christi! She was (and still is) a huge blessing in my life. I learned so much of the Lord’s character and how much I needed Him DAILY during this year. I donated my hair to Locks of Love for the first time, and I got the chance to work at T bar M.

YEAR 21: I went back to work at T bar M this summer. My 21st year ended with my mom and dad driving to College Station just to take me out to dinner on my birthday. I was reminded of how blessed I am to have a mom and dad who would do things like that…and even sometimes just drive up to surprise me!

YEAR 22: Year 22 was another big one for me! I took the MCAT for the first time, and didn’t do as well as I had hoped. A few months later (only days after getting my MCAT scores back), I hopped on a plane and spent a portion of the summer in China teaching English. God used the MCAT to form a bond between me and my sweet friend from China, A! The best part of the summer was that A came to know Jesus and she loves Him with everything she has. The Lord showed me that summer that He works out ALL THINGS for the good of those who love Him.

YEAR 23: During year 23, I took the MCAT for the second time, and the Lord began to reveal to me that medical school wasn’t the direction He wanted me to go. Not knowing what to do instead, I applied to medical school and again hopped on a plane back to Nanning, Guangxi, China (where I left my heart the summer before). This trip to China was cut short due to a broken arm, and I was completely devastated!

Oops…I can’t forget to mention that I graduated from TEXAS A&M! WHOOP! Proudest member of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Class of 2007.

I also began working at College Station Middle School in August. It was during this time the Lord led me to nursing school, and I began the application process.

YEAR 24: I continued to work at the middle school in the Special Education classroom where God taught me so much about unconditional love through two students that I affectionately call “My Honor Student” and “My Ray of Sunshine”. The entire experience of working at this school allowed me to fall more in love with Jesus and see new aspects of His character. I was completely changed by the lives of these two precious students!

I decided to come to San Antonio for nursing school, and it was a HUGE change for me! Little did I know that when I moved so far away from my family that God would bring a big sister (something I always prayed for) into my life. He also completely blessed me with an amazing house church of people with a heart for the nations.

YEAR 25: If I can sum up my 25th year in one word, it would be FREEDOM! I’ve learned a lot this year about what it means to truly walk in freedom in Christ. Freedom from fear…freedom from failure…freedom from perfection… Life isn’t about living for other people, but it’s about living for Him and following Him wherever He chooses to lead me.

YEAR 26:  This year has been a year of change in my life….I’m no longer a student.  :(  The early months were filled with a job hunt.  The process was not fun, but I was completely blown away with how the Lord blessed me. I experienced post earthquake Haiti, firsthand.  And to say that I fell in love with the people there is an understatement!!  The month of April was difficult because in the midst of applying for a job, one of my favorite clinical instructors/mentors unexpectedly went to be with Jesus. Then in May, I walked across the stage and received BS degree #2.  You can betcha that when I walked across the stage I flashed a big GIG ‘EM to the camera as I received my diploma.  I may have got to a “t.u” system school, but I am still 100% Aggie through-and-through.   In July I started an amazing job as an RN in the Pediatric ICU at Santa Rosa.  At this point, I have been there about 8 months, and Jesus has changed me.  I’ve been humbled by the trust of my patients and their families that is given to me on a daily basis.  Each day as I go to work, my prayer is the same.  I pray that I would bring hope, comfort, joy, and peace in Jesus’ name to my patients and their families.  I don’t want to miss any opportunity to be Jesus’ hands and feet.  A definite highlight in my 26th year is my roomies.  I live with 4 of the greatest girls I know….they deserve their own post.

I know this is long, but I wanted to write down some of my biggest memories! What I didn't have time or space to do was write down everything. So woven throughout these years were many more broken bones, lots of laughter, lots of tears, lots of amazing memories! In doing this, I was reminded how incredibly blessed I am. I have the best family…the best friends…and I serve the most amazing God! These 26 years have been full, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I’m so blessed and so thankful!  As I look back at these memories, I am blown away by the life the Lord has given me.  I can't wait to see adventures are in store for the next years of my life. 

Feel free to comment and add some of your own memories.  :)